Naked Rumors
by Marie Nomad
Summary: Big Boss gave Solid Snake his very first solo mission. Unfortunately, the rookie is very eager to follow the rules to the letter.


The theory that Outer Heaven is a somewhat of a live action simulation actually comes from a youtube video by Mega Destroy Bastard. All characters belong to Konami. This takes place before MG but will have some MGSV spoilers.

Naked Rumors

By Marie Nomad

Big Boss sat in his office at Foxhound. It was easy to crawl in and pretend to beg for forgiveness. After all, what was left of Zero still want him as his icon to be his puppet. He still dreams of his Outer Heaven, where soldiers are free to fight and war without needing to think about nations and ideologies. He will destroy the Patriots and kill Zero.

Outer Heaven captured Grey Fox. So, it was at least powerful enough for the average fighter. But, Zero would not send in someone like him there. No, Zero would send a beast, one of his twisted abominations of God, to fight him. Big Boss had to find out how to defend against those abominations. There are at least three that he knew about. Big Boss had to know their limits. Luckily, he had gotten to know at least the weakest of the three.

"Solid Snake reporting for duty, sir!" Solid Snake said as he arrived and saluted. Big Boss nodded at him, and he relaxed. Solid Snake looked nothing like him despite the fact that he was his clone. Others seem to see a resemblance so, but he doesn't believe it.

Solid wasn't aware of his origins like Eli and George. Eli disappeared in the Middle East. He didn't know where but he was confident that he would show up again. George was in the Liberia Civil Wars already looking older than Solid. George had the perfect balance of his genes, the closest to himself of the three. He will be the most dangerous.

Still, Solid Snake was a decent fighter and a reasonably good soldier. Miller had trained him well.

"Solid Snake, it's time for your first solo mission. You are to go to Outer Heaven and report what you find. This is a sneaking mission; you must enter and leave without the world noticing. Hence, you must show up naked."

"Naked?" Solid Snake repeated like a parrot.

"I had done the same in my first sneaking mission. It's not as hard as it seems. You would be lucky and have actual food there. Not like eating wild animals raw."

"Oh… can I at least bring my cigarettes? They're like my lucky charm."

"You do understand that it exposes you. Also, smoking causes cancer?" Big Boss paused. He didn't know if the other clones smoke or not but better to just let the guy have his smokes. "Never mind, you can take them along. Here's all the info you need. Go to the bay when you're ready to leave. Remember, no gear."

"Go naked, got it." Solid Snake walked off, and Big Boss sighed. He wasn't sure what to think of this one. Ocelot stated that the Zero had made sure that all the clones have been weakened in some way. They have short lifespans couldn't have children. Even so, his Phantom would have a hard time dealing with him.

The older man started to puff on his Cuban cigar as he meditated and planned like he always did. He is curious about how his doppelganger would deal with this clone. Ahab defeated Eli, but he was a boy. This clone is a full grown man. All of a sudden, his phone rang. "This is Big Boss."

"Big Boss, this is Colonel Campbell, with all due respect, you must be crazy! You can't send Solid Snake without anything except his cigarettes!"

"I wouldn't have him do anything I wouldn't do."

"You mean the rumors are true. You did go on your mission completely nude? Even your halo jump?"

Big Boss rolled his eye. Those stupid rumors have exaggerated everything he did. Miller was upset at him for some reason and had been telling everyone that he went into missions without clothes. "NO! I was wearing my uni-" Big Boss stopped in his tracks. His clone would not be that stupid. On the other hand, he shouldn't take any chances. "Wait right there."

Big Boss stormed out of his office passing the various saluting soldiers. Finally, he showed up at the bay to see his clone as naked as the day he popped out of the lab and holding those cigarettes. "Solid Snake! Where are your clothes?"

"You said to show up naked, sir." Snake stated as he saluted.

"I meant without weapons and rations." Big Boss turned his blind side towards Snake and sighed. "Go, put on your uniform and get back here before I put a bullet in your brain."

"Put on a uniform and get back here. Got it!" He walked quickly to his barracks with several of the female soldiers just admiring his buns. There was something unnerving about having his clone being ogled by various women. "Stop staring at him." He ordered the soldiers and they scattered.

The old man turned towards his office. He had to get ready for anything. Intrude N313 will change everything.

The End


End file.
